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Students are today’s expressions of tomorrow’s practices。 Their words can be the visible signs of the less visible struggles encountered by us all。
I have a memory from my own undergraduate years of a headline in my campus newspaper: “Why Aren’t We Happy?” As the headline suggests; we fell short of leading joyful lives。 Yet at least happiness was still on the agenda。 What underlies the tendency of many of us; like my success…seeking student; to give up genuinely trying?
I’ve often failed to enjoy Sunday because of my schedule on Monday。 At bottom; it was simply anticipatory anxiety over the work of the week ahead—fear that there would be unexpected plications or that I would fail to measure up in some way。 Usually; when Monday came; I did quite well。 Much of what I worried about never happened。
Joy has its own moral underpinning。 There’s a pleteness to joy that does not allow us to exclude our sense of the person we should be。 Pleasure is certainly possible in less…than…honorable actions。 But the experience of joy requires more; it is pleasure taken in worthy things。
True joy requires choices that develop into habits that evolve into character。 And that’s work we can’t delegate。
The essential first step is trying to live a less fearful life—one that avoids collapsing life’s possibilities before exploring them。 It entails weling uncertainty and fortable inpleteness。
。 想看书来
我们在享受快乐吗(1)
佚名
我们都被洗了脑!我们被灌输了这样的职业道德:“工作(和忍受)到生命的最后一刻,幸运的话,就直到退休。我们没有时间浪费在无聊的事情上。我们有体现自身价值的责任。我们一定要认真而努力地工作,在事业上进步,赚更多的钱,并把赚钱和事业进步看做是生活的首要目标。”
我希望变更自己的人生计划。我知道,做自己感兴趣的事情,我会做得更好;做自己憎恶的事,我会做得一塌糊涂;在压力下工作通常会事倍功半。
我们可以改变生活中衡量某事是否该做的标准。我们需要扪心自问的不应是“它是否会赚大钱,或能否让事业更上一层楼”,而是“我对这感兴趣吗?这事有意思吗?我要大干一番吗?”
如果你不能肯定地回答这些问题,那么,这些很有可能就不是你该做的事情!
如果是诸如纳税、洗碗等你必须做的事情,解决的办法就是找别人代你做,你不喜欢做的事情自有人喜欢做。的确如此!举个例子来说,我并非世界上最棒的家庭主妇,我讨厌打扫卫生,擦地板和窗户等家务活,可偏偏有些人喜欢这种冥想性质的工作,并能在工作圆满完成后获得真正的满足。如果我雇人来做这些事,我则可以利用这些时间去做自己喜欢的事情来赚钱,这对我大有裨益。
人各有不同,不同的人适合做不同的事。某人喜欢做特定的某件事,这并不意味着你也必须要去喜欢。我所谓的“乐趣指数”可以用来帮助我们了解某一行为适合哪些人去做。判断一件事情是否该去做,不能只凭它能否带来物质利益和事业进步等经验主义,而应看此事是否能给我们带来乐趣并使我们获得满足感。你的工作带给你自豪感和满足感了吗?你是在执行“应该”指令还是依照“想做”的意愿呢?
然而,这种规划是异常强大的。我发现,勉强自己做事的结果就是能拖则拖、没完没了。你留意过吗?做自己不喜欢的事情似乎总也做不完。反之,则如俗语所云:“乐在其中,浑然不知所谓何日。”
我们要反对旧的规划,并相信“乐趣指数”是一个流动工程。每个小的进步同时也是一个大的飞跃。每一步都会淡化你对生活的不满情绪,强化你的自爱、自我认同和自尊感,让你更易感知生活中的乐趣。
不论何时,你都不能忽视这种内在激励,否则,你便会日益陷入自厌与自责的泥潭,再次感到消沉没落。每一次的失望都会强化心中的那个信念:别人的愿望比自己的更加重要。于是,你内在的欲求便会再次被压抑到最低位置。
但是,这就是你的生活!为何要让他人指示你“应该”怎样生活呢?问问你自己,你想怎样规划自己的人生!聆听内心的声音,它会告诉你什么会真正充实和满足你。要知道,你才是自己生活的主宰者!毕竟,这是你的生活,不是吗?
■ 心灵小语
生活是属于自己的,快乐也是属于自己的,不要让别人来设计你的生活,不要让别人来告诉你该做什么、不该做什么,那样你就会失去自我的选择,失去其实本该属于你的快乐。学会控制自己的生活,掌握自己的幸福!
Are We Having Fun Yet
Anonymous
We’ve all been brainwashed! We were all taught the work ethic! “Work (and suffer) till you die; or if you’re lucky retire。 We don’t have time to waste on frivolities。 We have responsibilities to fulfill。 We have to be serious; work hard; rise in our career; make lots of money; and make earning money and advancing in our career a priority。”
I wish to change that programming in my life。 I know that when I do the things I enjoy doing; things work out better for me。 I know that when I do something against my will; against my heart; it doesn’t work out well。 I know that stressing myself out to try to get a job done usually takes twice as long as taking time out and doing that same task at some other time in a relaxed manner。
我们在享受快乐吗(2)
We can change the criteria by which we decide what to do in our lives。 Instead of “Will it bring in lots of money or advance my career”; we need to ask ourselves; “Will I enjoy doing this? Will this be fun? Am I looking forward to getting started on this?”
If you can’t answer “yes” to these questions; then quite possibly this is not the task for you!
If it is something that must be done; ; dishes; etc。; the solution is to find someone else to do them for you。 There are some people who will enjoy and love to do what you prefer not to do。 Really! For example; I am not the world’s best housekeeper。 I do not really enjoy cleaning; washing floors; windows; etc。 Yet there are some people who enjoy the meditative aspect of this work and who really get satisfaction from a job well done。 It is to my benefit to pay someone to do this work so I can take that time earning money doing things that I enjoy。
We are all very different and different things appeal to each one of us。 Just because someone else enjoys a particular thing does not mean that you must。 We can trust what I call the “fun index” to assist us in knowing if a particular action is the one for us。 We can break away from the rule of thumb that judges things by whether they bring money or career advancement。 We can change that to making our decisions based on whether an action will bring us pleasure and personal satisfaction。 Does the work you do leave you feeling proud and pleased with yourself? Are you following the voice of “shoulds” or the one of “want to”?
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