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第15部分（第1页）

e　would　be　lying　together　and　I　would　touch　her　cheeks　and　her　forehead　and　under　her　eyes　and　her　chin　and　throat　with　the　tips　of　my　fingers　and　say；　〃Smooth　as　piano　keys；〃　and　she　would　stroke　my　chin　with　her　finger　and　say；　〃Smooth　as　emery　paper　and　very　hard　on　piano　keys。〃

〃Is　it　rough？〃

〃No；　darling。　I　was　just　making　fun　of　you。〃

It　was　lovely　in　the　nights　and　if　we　could　only　touch　each　other　we　were　happy。　Besides　all　the　big　times　we　had　many　small　ways　of　making　love　and　we　tried　putting　thoughts　in　the　other　ones　head　while　we　were　in　different　rooms。　It　seemed　to　work　sometimes　but　that　was　probably　because　we　were　thinking　the　same　thing　anyway。

We　said　to　each　other　that　we　were　married　the　first　day　she　had　e　to　the　hospital　and　we　counted　months　from　our　wedding　day。　I　wanted　to　be　really　married　but　Catherine　said　that　if　we　were　they　would　send　her　away　and　if　we　merely　started　on　the　formalities　they　would　watch　her　and　would　break　us　up。　We　would　have　to　be　married　under　Italian　law　and　the　formalities　were　terrific。　I　wanted　us　to　be　married　really　because　I　worried　about　having　a　child　if　I　thought　about　it；　but　we　pretended　to　ourselves　we　were　married　and　did　not　worry　much　and　I　suppose　I　enjoyed　not　being　married；　really。　I　know　one　night　we　talked　about　it　and　Catherine　said；　〃But；　darling；　theyd　send　me　away。〃

〃Maybe　they　wouldnt。〃

〃They　would。　Theyd　send　me　home　and　then　we　would　he　apart　until　after　the　war。〃

〃Id　e　on　leave。〃

〃You　couldnt　get　to　Scotland　and　back　on　a　leave。　Besides；　I　wont　leave　you。　What　good　would　it　do　to　marry　now？　Were　really　married。　I　couldnt　be　any　more　married。〃

〃I　only　wanted　to　for　you。〃

〃There　isnt　any　me。　Im　you。　Dont　make　up　a　separate　me。〃

〃I　thought　girls　always　wanted　to　be　married。〃

〃They　do。　But；　darling；　I　am　married。　Im　married　to　you。　Dont　I　make　you　a　good　wife？〃

〃Youre　a　lovely　wife。〃

〃You　see；　darling；　I　had　one　experience　of　waiting　to　be　married。〃

〃I　dont　want　to　hear　about　it。〃

〃You　know　I　dont　love　any　one　but　you。　You　shouldnt　mind　because　some　one　else　loved　me。〃

〃I　do。〃

〃You　shouldnt　be　jealous　of　some　one　whos　dead　when　you　have　everything。〃

〃No；　but　I　dont　want　to　hear　about　it。〃

〃Poor　darling。　And　I　know　youve　been　with　all　kinds　of　girls　and　it　doesnt　matter　to　me。〃

〃Couldnt　we　be　married　privately　some　way？　Then　if　anything　happened　to　me　or　if　you　had　a　child。〃

〃Theres　no　way　to　be　married　except　by　church　or　state。　We　are　married　privately。　You　see；　darling；　it　would　mean　everything　to　me　if　I　had　any　religion。　But　I　havent　any　religion。〃

〃You　gave　me　the　Saint　Anthony。〃

〃That　was　for　luck。　Some　one　gave　it　to　me。〃

〃Then　nothing　worries　you？〃

〃Only　being　sent　away　from　you。　Youre　my　religion。　Youre　all　Ive　got。〃

〃All　right。　But　Ill　marry　you　the　day　you　say。〃

〃Dont　talk　as　though　you　had　to　make　an　honest　woman　of　me；　darling。　Im　a　very　honest　woman。　You　cant　be　ashamed　of　something　if　youre　only　happy　and　proud　of　it。　Arent　you　happy？〃

〃But　you　wont　ever　leave　me　for　some　one　else。〃

〃No；　darling。　I　wont　ever　leave　you　for　some　one　else。　I　suppose　all　sorts　of　dreadful　things　will　happen　to　us。　But　you　dont　have　to　worry　about　that。〃

〃I　dont。　But　I　love　you　so　much　and　you　did　love　some　one　else　before。〃

〃And　what　happened　to　him？〃

〃He　died。〃

〃Yes　and　if　he　hadnt　I　wouldnt　have　met　you。　Im　not　unfaithful；　darling。　Ive　plenty　of　faults　but　Im　very　faithful。　Youll　be　sick　of　me　Ill　be　so　faithful。〃

〃Ill　have　to　go　back　to　the　front　pretty　soon。〃

〃We　wont　think　about　that　until　you　go。　You　see　Im　happy；　darling；　and　we　have　a　lovely　time。　I　havent　been　happy　for　a　long　time　and　when　I　met　you　perhaps　I　was　nearly　crazy。　Perhaps　I　was　crazy。　But　now　were　happy　and　we　love　each　other。　Do　lets　please　just　be　happy。　You　are　happy；　arent　you？　Is　there　anything　I　do　you　dont　like？　Can　I　do　anything　to　please　you？　Would　you　like　me　to　take　down　my　hair？　Do　you　want　to　play？〃

〃Yes　and　e　to　bed。〃

〃All　right。　Ill　go　and　see　the　patients　first。〃

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